Post 100

A reflection on the voice that got me here and the one I’m still becoming

I have made a habit of walking into a room alone, not knowing what to expect or who I will know, driven purely by my own curiosity. The other weekend I went to a piano recital with a vague idea of the music but no idea of the people who would attend. I was simply following a need for an afternoon of sound that didn’t come through my headphones. I recently signed up for a hip hop dance class, knowing full well that swooshing my hips outside the privacy of my bedroom would possibly give me hives, but I booked it anyway. I constantly seek out ways to get out of my own way and follow the voice that tells me there is so much more out there to explore. With my Substack hitting its 100th post milestone, I wanted to reflect on that voice and begin to imagine the road ahead.

In 2020 I took my longing for making memories in outfits worth remembering and started the page Moresque on Instagram. It combined my love for styling with my tendency to fantasise about life, and it resonated with people quickly. It was funny, stylish and my first real attempt at finding a voice for myself online. Throughout that time though, I had an inner calling to show more of myself, to be more present in my content. I wanted to film myself, to centre my own real life outfits, but I didn’t have the confidence for it yet, so it felt safer to pivot to Substack. I started writing about whatever came to mind, trying to take myself more seriously, thinking that was what was missing. But through that I started to lose the essence of Moresque that had made the page my own. The humour wasn’t coming through and it still didn’t feel entirely like me.

Over these 100 posts since relaunching, I have slowly started to realign with how I want to show up online. I now think of this as a personal style Substack: sometimes personal, sometimes style. I want to keep finding the balance between both in a way that feels like me and resonates with you, the reader. Am I where I wanted to be at this point? Honestly, no. In vanity metric terms, I wanted a bigger community and a bigger impact. But when I look back at what this journey has actually given me, it’s the confidence to listen to my inner voice and trust that on the other side is a better, more interesting, more enlightened version of myself. I am so grateful for the community I have built and the genuinely inspiring people I have met along the way. Thank you to everyone who has supported me, in front of the camera and behind the scenes.

For the next 100 posts I want to express myself in a way that feels less curated and more like how I actually think: brain dump, trail of thoughts, random tidbits. Serious writing doesn’t have to mean editorial writing, and I want to fully believe that. An honest, imperfect log of thoughts is its own kind of rigour. This push and pull between how I think I should show up and how I want to express myself is mirrored in my astrological chart, with my Scorpio rising acting as a mask over the essence of my Aquarius sun. But it’s time to move past that.

The next 100 posts are a journey towards peeling back those layers and betting on that being just as valuable as everything else. I love fashion and talking about clothes but I can also reminisce for hours on the mundanity of everyday life or the horrors of dating (Hinge is self harm at this point, I have decided). I want to keep sharpening my voice in a way that flows seamlessly between every topic that interests me and find more creatively expansive ways to express my thoughts beyond words. Thank you for your patience this year. I have not been as consistent as I would like, with my Saturn return really doing its big one and completely flipping my life upside down, but exciting times ahead.

To close, some proof of life: outfits I have actually been wearing recently. Because even when the words dried up, the getting dressed did not. Speak soon!

Stay curious, stay stylish,

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